3 Ways I Have Changed Since Marriage
I am a married woman.
I have been a married woman for exactly 3.5 weeks, and I am LOVING it.
Now, I could use this whole blog post to tell you about how wonderful life is now that I can call Anthony my husband, and how excited we are about our future together, but instead I'm going to show you a few pictures from our wedding (because, obviously, you're curious!) and then get to telling you the things no one really talks about. I'm going to tell you about life now that the wedding is over and how I feel like this last year has changed me.
But first, the pictures!
Ok, that's enough! Head over to our Photographer's website if you'd like to see more!
Now to the point of this blog. Now that our wedding is over, I feel like I've gotten a lot of time to reflect, not only on this HUGE commitment that Anthony and I have happily made to each other, but also on this crazy year and a half of planning leading up to our wedding. I may have only been married for 3.5 weeks, but I can think of at least 3 ways I have changed so far.
1. I am much better with communicating what I want and being confident in my decision making skills.
My mother-in-law is actually the one who commented first on this change in me. I guess that after having THOUSANDS of decisions to make regarding the wedding, many of them piling up at the last minute, I've gotten to the point where I can quickly prioritize what is really important and what's not and make decisions accordingly. I have to say, it is much easier to be this way than to be how I was at the beginning of the wedding planning process, obsessing over every little detail. (Anyone remember how I designed LITERALLY 50 different wedding invitations before choosing one?)
2. I have accepted the fact that all the planning in the world doesn't offer any guarantees.
Our wedding almost didn't happen the way we planned it. The day before the wedding, York was flooded, with no end to the rain in sight. Miraculously, it didn't rain a single drop on our wedding day, and we got to have our tent reception at the family farm, just the way I'd always dreamed. It seems like everyone has a story like that about their wedding, how it almost crashed and burned, but everything turned out fine! The thing is, I think this has more to do with the attitude of the storyteller than the actual events that happened. It could have rained on my wedding day, but to me, it still would have been perfect. I've taken this lesson in flexibility and tried to applied it to the rest of my life. Now believe me, I am the world's biggest planner. I plan everything, down to exactly where I want to live when I'm 65 (in a 19th century farmhouse) and what I want my "retirement career" to be (wedding planning, of course!). But aside from our wonderful wedding, the rest of 2013 hasn't really gone as planned. We've had a lot of really great times this year, but we've also faced more challenges this year than either of us ever have before. And that's normal. Actually, it's beyond normal, this is what life is all about. It's nice to have an idea of what I'd like to do next year, five years from now, twenty years from now, etc. but I've found that being flexible and having a sense of humor is the only way I'm going to make it through life in one piece.
3. I am coming to understand the fact that there will always be a "next thing".
There is always going to a "next thing" that I'm going want to strive for, and while it's good to have goals, I need to train myself to relax and truly enjoy the time that I am living in now. If number 2 has taught me anything, it's that just because I accomplish one thing, that in no way means that all of my problems are solved. I have to find that elusive balance between "Life is short" and "We have all the time in the world". It's hard to fight because it's how we are programmed. Love, Marriage, Baby Carriage. Work Hard, Buy a House. While all babies and houses are hopefully in mine and Anthony's (near-ish) future, we need to take the time to really enjoy the stage that we are at and not put any extra pressure or unrealistic expectations on ourselves to live our lives by any certain timeline.
We definitely have goals for our first year of marriage, and we are already working hard towards them, but after 22 years of obsessing, planning and living in the future rather than the present, I am excited at the prospect of taking life as it comes this year. Slowing down, and taking the time to enjoy the small moments with my new husband.